Friday, 20 January 2012

No Regrets

Robbie once said (or rather sang) "No regrets, they don't work"

I have to say I agree!  There is no point in fretting about what has already happened - you can't change it.  That said we all have regrets and I think it is how you deal with them that is important.

I have two regrets.  One is that I didn't appreciate my mum more when she was alive and the other is that I didn't do what I am doing now ten years ago.

The first one I think we all have when our parents leave this mortal earth.  My mum seriously did my head in most of the time.  She was moody, difficult, always negative about everything and nagged a lot.  I had convinced myself that I didn't need my mum anymore, I was a grown up for goodness sake!  It was not until she was gone that I realised I couldn't cope without her.  She did so much more for me than I ever gave her credit for.  I hadn't realised how much of an emotional crutch she was for me, listening to my whinging about things that, if I am honest, are really not important and offering support after every mini (and the occassional mega) row between me and my husband.

The second one is that I didn't study ten years earlier, then get married and have kids.  On a very basic level the regret is more about the order in which things in my life have happened not what has happened. 

It would not have been possible to do it in the order I wanted to as I would not have been a confident enough person back then.  The marriage had to come first as the majority of my confidence in the early days was down to my husband.  He is such a forward thinking person and sees obsticles as challenges.  Not the approach I had at all when we first met.  I would see a brick wall and think thats it then, the end.  Whereas he would see a brick wall and say I'll go round it then or over it if I really have to.

The first regret is one I will always have somewhere deep down inside of me, maybe one day I will bury it so deep I can't find it.  The second is a pointless regret to have and one I only allow myself to have it when I am feeling very sorry for myself!

As I said earlier, I cannot change what has happened in the past so the best idea is to concentrate on the future and decide how I can make it the most fantastic, fun and comfortable future it can be!

So, all together now ...

"No regrets, they don't work!"

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